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Losing Weight: 4 Things That Work and 4 things that don’t

First let’s look at what doesn’t work:

1)   Dieting for many years.

We have all heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

If any strategy continues to fail, then it is time to step on it, kill it, and throw it out with the trash!

The long term practice of dieting is oxymoronic. It is unscientific. Lifestyle pattern changes, and thought pattern changes are really the only things that work.


2)   Artificial sweeteners.

Its been 50 years since artificial sweeteners entered the food chain.  Not a single peer reviewed scientific study has shown any correlation between the use of such nasty tasting stuff and long term weight loss.

In fact research shows that artificial sweeteners increase appetite and cause us to gain weight.  Wooops!! So I will again repeat my favorite mantra



3)   Thinking you are fat when you’re really not.

Have you ever met someone who is clearly slender but spends a lot of inner dialogue and life energy thinking that she’s fat and needs to lose a pound or 3 or 10?

My prescription is this; Don’t think you are fat if you are not. Just think that you are silly and you need a big hug and lots more love, that is more factually correct.


4)   Not fully living life.

A significant number of those who are trying to lose weight have a very interesting strategy- they take themselves out of the game, stay on the sidelines of life.

They have made the well thought out choice that if I can’t be at the weight I want, then I can’t possibly be the real me, which means my life hasn’t started yet.  Ouch!!

If this describes you, then the truth is, the sandbox isn’t as much fun without you!

If you are using weight as an excuse to hold back from life, I’ll bet you are not as happy as you could be.

But no need to worry, now’s your time to start living no matter what you weigh.

Can you hear all the fans cheering your arrival?


 Strategies That Work for Weight-loss.


1)   Eating

Oddly enough, one of the best ways to achieve long-term sustainable weight-loss is to eat.  When I say “eat”, I mean creating for yourself a relationship with food that has us loving food, feeling nourished by it, receiving pleasure from it, celebrating it, and eating with a hearty celebration for life. Eat.  Trust you body.

Indulge in your biological, God-given imperative to add nutrition to your every cell via the tasty vehicle of food.  By being willing to find your natural appetite and your inner nutritionist, your body will begin to find its way to the best you.

It is that simple.


2)   Show your body love and appreciation

Many people feel they cannot love their body as it is.  They live in constant self-criticism.  Sometimes we cannot do things alone.

The body needs to be loved, but not exclusively by the one who inhabits it. So if you just can’t seem to love your body as it is, try to find someone who can and see what happens.


3) Support the skinny people.

I’ve noticed that some women can get pretty competitive with each other when it comes to body weight. They look at each other, compare, criticize, silently attack, and seem to go against the very people that they want to emulate.

For sure, this is simply part of human nature. But at the same time, we’re here to grow and evolve and raise the bar in how we relate with all our fellow creatures.

So not only is it a cheap shot when we unfairly judge fat people, it’s equally unfair to judge the skinny ones. Were all trying our best, so in general, the judgment thing tends to fall flat when it comes to getting us what we want.

The next time you see someone who has the body or the weight that you want, send them a silent blessing. What goes around comes around.

4)    Do some spiritual muscle building.

Not actual muscle building. For far too many people dieting and weight loss can become it’s own full time religion.  We can spend too much of our life energy worshipping the perfect body.

Strengthen your spiritual muscles.  Talk to God, inquire about the grander plans that may be in store for you.  It might just be that as we express our true purpose and our destiny emerges, the body we’re meant to have will finally have the freedom to reveal itself.




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  1. Michelle
    October 23, 2012 at 10:29 pm ·

    SO True! Every word, especially the part about needing to eat to lose weight! Everyone I know has always starved themselves to lose weight, only to gain it back any time they put anything in their mouth. They trained their bodies to hold on to whatever fat it could get. Starving the body is the worst thing you could do! Loving yourself and taking care of yourself is definitely the first step in the weight loss challenge. Without that you will not get very far into the process without giving up.

  2. Laura
    October 18, 2012 at 9:13 am ·

    I love this!!!

    • Joy Harari
      October 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm ·

      Thanks! These are ideas I learned from the Institute for the Psychology of Eating’s Mark David.